depressedlife.com is a blog about Living with Depression 

Living with depression can be very tiring when you've had it for many years.  Oh, I've taken meds and I've had years and years of therapy, but the depression is always an underlying part of my life.   I wish it wasn't so.  In recent years I've done a pretty good job of staying busy in spite of my depression. 

I'm not physically active enough but I stay busy.   Unfortunately, I also spend several hours each evening watching television which is probably bad for my mental health but my husband and I thoroughly enjoy our evenings spent watching our favorite programs.   We usually watch between two and three hours worth of television programing in addition to the early evening news.   We like dramas a lot.... but our favorite show is Dancing With the Stars. 

Once in a while like tonight, it will be hard to settle down next to my husband on our double recliner loveseat and watch television.  Tonight I'm feeling hurt by him and I'm not sure I want to be that close.  Fortunately this only happens now and then these days which is a huge improvement over rockier stages of our relationship.

My husband also suffers from depression.  It's a challenge to keep from dragging each other down into the dumps.  It's especially hard when one of us (him) is a pessimist thru and thru.  Negativity can be a real turn off and is sometimes contagious.   I often have to distance myself emotionally from him and I know he distances himself from me...... from time to time. 

Yesterday we attended a memorial service for an old friend.  We saw other old friends and some relatives too.  It was a sad event but made even sadder for both of us when we sensed a very real lack of interest or caring from many of those we cared about.  It's difficult to face truth. 

I've always felt that others didn't care too much for me.  I'll come back another day and write more about that.  Till then.............Susan